I come from the same ultra dysfunctional family system that most come from when born and raised in "The Ghetto" raised by grandma with an absent teen father, drug addicted teen mother, Vice Lords on one side Gangsta Disciples on the other, plus all the other pit falls and distractions that come with living in "Urban America" and if I'm being honest, based on what I was seeing everyday, I really didn't need to hear it in my home because everything around me was telling me I wouldn't have an opportunity to be anything other than a drug dealer, drug addict, or gang banger. However, there was one person, who didn't subscribe to the notion that you couldn't be whatever it was you wanted, and that was my grandmother, a woman who was born in rural Mississippi during the 1930's, and whose mother was the child of slaves. Now if there was anybody that should have been indoctrinated with that type of mindset it should have been her.
She came up in a time when the laws were literally written to keep the African American citizens from achieving anything, education, jobs, or even decent housing. Her youth was spent during one of the most violent and turbulent times in history, but she never seemed to lose her sense of if I do my best I can be what I want to be, and here is why I believe she felt that way. During the time of civil unrest in this country, the "Black Community" had a sense of personal responsibility. They knew that in order for future generations to be able to excel they had to set a standard of belief that if they held each other accountable, and stayed together anything could be accomplished. Just look at all the accomplishments by African Americans and who achieved them, and in what era. As a matter of fact, there had not been a major African American achievement (outside of sports or entertainment, which by the way was the only thing we were allowed to do) Since the Civil Rights Era which lasted from 1954 to 1968 until the election of Obama in 2008. Think about that for a moment. It took 40 years for us to achieve anything of historical significance outside of the sports and entertainment world. I believe it took that long because we stopped believing that "Personal Responsibility" was the key to our unity. One of my grandmothers favorite saying to us was, "The best helping hand you will ever receive is at the end of your arm"
she taught us that we had to be responsible for doing our part in becoming successful, and doing what was necessary to achieve our goals. Every since I became involved in community building and human services work I've preached "Personal Responsibility" or having "Personal Capital" as the focus and key to changing the things that plague us as a people, and community. Personal capital is closely related to personal responsibility, and personal responsibility is defined as a persons "response-ability" that is the ability of a person to maturely respond to the various challenges and circumstances of life. Personal capital is also closely connected with character, and character is defined as a persons moral or ethical quality, and the character of a person gives them advantages to respond to the challenges of life. "Personal Responsibility" or Personal Capital, is the inner resources, assets, and advantages, and character one brings in response to the challenges and circumstances of life. When there is no "Personal Responsibility" or "Personal Capital a person becomes a victim of circumstances an in effect is not able to consciously or purposefully choose his or her own thoughts, feelings or actions. This allows for a community of people to identify themselves as powerless, dependent, entitled, and to allow apathy, worry, fear, and self-doubt to be their life's guide. Without taking "Personal Responsibility" for our own lives, we will always live at the effect of what happens around us, have little to no response to the challenges of life, and won't believe that we have the ability to choose and direct our life direction, and have control of our own destiny. Simple put, "The greatest helping hand, we will ever get, is at the end of our arms"
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